I was weary of me mistress
We’d sailed too long a calm sea
Like a tattered old sea-chart
Or a cask of weak tea

So while she lay there snorin’
I paced the deck in the dark
And in the scrolled-up dispatches
I spied a curious mark

If you like Piña Coladas
And gettin’ soaked in the main
If you’re not into healin’ herbs
If you’ve a wit in your brain

If you like plunderin’ at midnight
Where the sand dunes are steep
Then I’m the mate that you’ve looked for
Signal me 'cross the deep

I gave no thought to me lady
I know that sounds a bit cruel
But me and me old lady
Were driftin’ like a ship in a pool

So I sent off a parrot
To answer the fair maiden’s plea 

And though I’m no silver-tongued devil 

It sounded fair-weather to me

Yes, I like Piña Coladas
And gettin’ soaked in the main
I’m not much into salted fish
I’m into fine French champagne

I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And slip the King's heavy chain
At a tavern called O’Malley’s
Where we’ll plan our campaign

So I waited with high hopes
As she walked through the door
I knew her grin in an instant
From a dozen grand raids or more
It was me own lovely lady
And she said, "Arrr, it be you!"
Then we roared like the thunder

And I said, “I NEVER KNEW…”

That you like Piña Coladas
And gettin’ soaked in the main
And the roll of the ocean
And the taste of champagne

If you like plunderin’ at midnight
Where the sand dunes are steep
You’re the lady I’ve looked for
Sail with me 'cross the deep"

Yes, I like Piña Coladas
And gettin’ soaked in the main
I’m not much into salted fish
I’m into fine French champagne

I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And slip the King's heavy chain
At a tavern called O’Malley’s
Where we’ll plan our campaign