We Hate Stupid Sha®ks
An Original Song By The Vacation Pirates
Some fear spiders on the wall
Some hate snakes that creep and crawl
Some hate leeches in the dark
But man I hate them bloody sharks
Some curse storms that split the mast
Some fear waves that break too fast
But none of those things leave a mark
Like those huge-ass teeth on a stupid shark
No sharks! No sharks!
Spin that wheel and brace the yards
Drink the rum, sing the song
Just keep them sharks where they belong
No sharks! No sharks!
Turn this ship and make it fast
Storms can howl, waves can crash
But sharks can kiss my… pirate ass
Some hate rats down in the hold
Some fear ghosts of sailors old
Some won’t swim where waters dark
But I sure as hell hate stupid sharks
Let the thunder crack the sky
Let the screaming gulls fly by
Let the devil play his part
But I ain’t chum for some damn shark
No sharks! No sharks!
Spin that wheel and brace the yards
Drink the rum, sing the song
Just keep them sharks where they belong
No sharks! No sharks!
Turn this ship and make it fast
Storms can howl, waves can crash
But sharks can kiss my… pirate ass
HEY SHARK YOU SUCK!
WE HATE SHARKS!
“WE HATE STUPID SHARKS”
Artist: The Vacation Pirates
Label: Ship Show Records / 12135273 Records DK
Written by Jeff Williams (BM)
Published by Ship Show Publishing
© 2026 Ship Show, Inc., All Rights Reserved.
This recording and its accompanying composition are protected by copyright law. Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, modification, public performance, transmission, resale, synchronization, or use in any form without prior written permission from the copyright owner is strictly prohibited.
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Fo® Immediate Release
O® Wheneve® Ye See A Fin In The Water
Hear ye, hear ye…
The irrationally terrified crew of Vacation Pirates be unleashin’ a brand-new anthem upon the seas…
“WE HATE STUPID SHARKS” now swimmin’ aggressively across all major streamin’ ports.
Now before the marine biologists start sendin’ strongly worded letters…
Aye, we know.
Sharks be important.
Sharks be misunderstood.
Sharks be vital to ocean ecosystems.
Sharks also have entirely too many teeth and absolutely no respect for personal space.
The position of Vacation Pirates remains unchanged.
We hate stupid sharks.
This musical declaration of maritime prejudice was inspired by a simple observation:
Storms are terrible.
Shipwrecks are bad.
Mutiny is inconvenient.
But none of those things spend all day swimmin’ around wonderin’ if they’d like to sample yer leg.
From giant fins in dark water to every horrifying thought that enters a sailor’s mind the moment he can no longer see the bottom, “WE HATE STUPID SHARKS” celebrates a fear as old as the sea itself.
And before anyone asks…
No, we are not interested in hearing how statistically unlikely shark attacks are.
Statistics become considerably less comfortin’ when the statistic has six rows of teeth.
Featuring shouted gang vocals, unapologetic shark discrimination, and enough anti-shark sentiment to make an aquarium revoke our membership, this may be the most important song ever written on the subject.
Or at least the loudest.
So raise a glass to dry land, secure railings, and remaining completely outside the food chain.
“WE HATE STUPID SHARKS” be now streamin’ wherever music be found.
Go on then… press play.
And remember…
The ocean belongs to everyone... but we’re still keeping an eye on those stupid sharks. 🏴☠️
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now leaving port: THE CELEBRATION
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