Acoustic Maritime Violence

Hear ye... Hear ye!

The Vacation Pirates have officially released their first full-length album, High Seas and Low Standards, a 15-song collection celebrating life at sea, tropical escapism, pirate mythology, questionable judgment, and the firm belief that virtually any problem can be improved by adding a chorus people can yell while holding a drink.

Nobody really planned this.

One song became another. Then another. Somebody mentioned sharks. Somebody else brought up scurvy. A Wellerman had to be sunk. Davy Jones apparently had a sister. Booty became a subject requiring further investigation. And before anyone aboard thought to count them, there were fifteen damn songs.

Apparently, that's an album.

High Seas and Low Standards is unmistakably The Vacation Pirates, but it isn't fifteen versions of the same joke.

There's the full-throated pirate recruitment campaign of “Be a Pirate!” and the alcohol-fueled enthusiasm of “More Damn Rum.” “We Hate Stupid Sharks,” “Booty!,” “Chasin' Tail,” and “Scurvy” demonstrate what happens when grown adults are given access to musical instruments without adequate supervision.

“Sink the Wellerman” takes a beloved sea-shanty tradition and does something to it for which historians may eventually demand an apology.

Then there are songs like “Sail Away,” “Roll That Wave,” “Southern Cross,” and “But... Did You Die?”, where beneath all the pirate nonsense is something The Vacation Pirates actually take seriously: the almost inexplicable pull of the sea, the freedom of leaving land behind, and the particular kind of happiness known by people who would rather be on a ship.

The album also wanders cheerfully into waters it didn't technically own, but for which the appropriate paperwork was obtained. “Our Campaign (A Piña Colada Song Parody)” and “The Love Boat (Our Parody)” take familiar favorites out for a thoroughly unauthorized-sounding, but actually authorized, voyage with the crew.

And then there's “Treasure at the Edge of the World,” an ambitious multi-movement voyage that proves The Vacation Pirates are occasionally capable of behaving like serious musicians.

Occasionally.

The complete track list:

- Be a Pirate!
- More Damn Rum
- Sail Away
- Our Campaign (A Piña Colada Song Parody)
- The Love Boat (Our Parody)
- We Hate Stupid Sharks
- Booty!
- Davey Joneses Sister
- Roll That Wave
- Chasin' Tail
- Sink the Wellerman
- But... Did You Die?
- Southern Cross
- Scurvy
- Treasure at the Edge of the World

Taken together, High Seas and Low Standards is part pirate record, part cruise soundtrack, part comedy album, and part love letter to getting the hell away from shore.

It's music for sail-away parties, sea days, beach bars, backyard pools, road trips to the cruise terminal, and anyone who has ever looked toward the horizon and thought:

Yeah. I'd rather be out there.

No powdered wigs are required. Eyepatches remain optional. Rum is strongly implied.

Standards, clearly, are not.

High Seas and Low Standards by The Vacation Pirates is available now.

The Pirate Music You Never Knew You Always Wanted.